My wife was a schoolteacher. We were married before our last year in college and after graduation she started teaching. Three years later our first child arrived and she stayed at home to rear her and the four other children that followed. When she decided to return to teaching many years later, she was much older and combined with that and a major in a degree that was not in high demand she had difficulty finding employment. Finally, she found employment in a job that many were not interested in, teaching boys in a state juvenile prison. I had concerns about her safety and also the emotional toll of working with boys who likely had little guidance in their homes and probably were never taught to be responsible individuals. I wondered how I could be supportive to her. I came up with a plan I hoped might be a winner.
Each day as we had our evening meal I would ask her, “what was the best experience you had today?”. I had two goals in mind. I could have asked her how her day went but often people will tell you about their frustrations if you ask that question. I wanted her to think about her good experiences. An amazing think happened. Who would have thought you could have great experiences nearly every day with these troubled boys? I am sure talking every day about her good experiences helped her have a positive attitude about what she was accomplishing with her boys. And now that she is retired, she has fond memories about her experiences.
My other goal was to communicate more with my wife. She is a chatty person and she would often tell friends I was her silent partner. My question worked perfectly. I would ask the question and she would answer enthusiastically. I was still silent after I asked the question, but she hardly noticed as she shared her experiences. I highly recommend doing this with a spouse or friend. I felt a great deal of bonding with my wife taking place when I asked this question.
Another great blessing came to my wife that fall into the category of unintended consequences. A large percentage of the boys she taught had learning disabilities. The State offered tuition to those who would get certified in Special Education. The courses were graduate level courses and my wife discovered that if she took them all she only need a couple more classes that she would have to pay for but would complete the requirements for a Master’s Degree in Special Education, which she opted for. She received three blessing in one action. She was paid additional money for being certified in Special Education, additional money for having a Master’s Degree and was trained in understanding how to better realize the needs of her boys.
I once heard a religious leader tell of some advice given him by another religious leader. The advice was to think about every person they ministered to as someone who had challengers in life. The minister giving advice explained that most of the time he would be right. If his position is correct think of how much good you can do for others. Many people need to feel others love them and are concerned about them. Just sharing their good experiences with others helps them feel loved and appreciated.
Remember what Jesus taught? He was once asked, “Master, what is the great commandment?” His answer was to love God with all your heart. This implies that if you love God, you will keep all his commandments. Then Jesus went on to give more information than the questioner asked. He went on to say, the second greatest commandment was to love their neighbor as thyself. He further stated that on these commandments hang all the law and commandments. This meant that if you live these two commandments you would not be breaking any of the others.
People often think of their neighbor as someone they know or lives in the same block. Jesus taught us, in a parable that has become known as the parable of the Good Samaritan, that even strangers are our neighbor. We have many opportunities to be our neighbor’s cheerleader. We can give encouragement to everyone we know to serve God and their fellow man to prepare them to return to that God who gave us life.
This is an opinion blog for Conservatives and People of Faith.