Dear Abby is an advice column for personal, family and relationships originated by Pauline Esther in 1956. At its heyday it was carried by over 1200 newspapers and in 2016 the readership was estimated at 110 million people. Abby died in 2013 and her daughter continues the column. Abby gave advice, sometimes good, sometimes bad and sometimes contrary to the things Jesus taught. Abby was not a Christian so there is no surprise that some of her advice conflicted with the teachings of Jesus. Readers often sought insulting comebacks to people who offended them which Abby was happy to provide.
We in Virginia have been blessed with our own beloved “Dear Abby”. Our Great Leader Governor Abigail Spanberger is available to give us love, advice and nurturing. After our Great Leader Dear Abby had been in office three months she had an approval rating of 30 percent according to one poll. The Democrat Partly has branded that poll as Maga Mis-information and allege Abby really has an approval rating of 70 per cent with an unfavorable rating of 30 per cent, mostly from Maga supporters.
We at the forum have been contacted by a whistle blower who claims she is working for the Abby Administration in the communications department. She provided us with e-mail correspondence with Dear Abby. Like most whistle blowers she wants her identity kept secret. In the interest of fairness, we do not know if she is a plant from another Democrat who is seeking power or is legitimate. The only way to know for sure if truth is told is through an investigation by the State Police which Dear Abby would control. This whistle blower seems so nice and sincere that we believe her. We will print some of the e-mails and let you decide if you think they are legitimate.
Dear Abby: My name is Karl Marx. You are probably shocked to receive an e-mail from someone who died years ago, but I now work for Satan in his kingdom, and all things are possible through Satan. We have been watching your progress through the years and want to congratulate you on being voted Governor of Virginia. A lot of our converts voted for you. We were impressed by how you promised to be impartial and represent all the people of Virginia and then starting pushing the Democrat’s power grab of trying to get the unsuspecting people of Virginia to support your partisan bill to redistrict the state of Virginia. Your plan to gerrymander the districts to make all districts but one predominantly Democrat is Brillant. It will make Virginia a one-party state like California, one of Satan’s favorite states just ahead of Minesota. From your college days when you first embraced Marxism we have admired you. We have some of the world’s greatest men here to advise you like Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Mao Zedong and Attila the Hun.
My Dear Karl: I have admired you since my college years. How wonderful to hear from you. Thank you for your willingness to advise me. I look forward to your brilliant input. As you know we Democrats are part of a big tent and we welcome anyone regardless of how evil they are. My own Attorney General once wrote he would like to put a bullet between the eyes of his opponent and his children so welcome to our tent. His letter did not change our affection for him. As you know we Democrats are motivated by money and power. I now have the power but I need more money. We Democrats know how to get money by borrowing it in the name of the taxpayer and taking a big slice of what the taxpayers earn in taxes. As you know Joe Biden became a multimillionaire as an elected official. I need some coaching on how to do what Joe did.
Dear Abby: As the President of the Teacher’s Union I am concerned that we work for better salaries and better working conditions for the teachers of Virginia and the teachers are not required be members of the union and pay their fair share of the costs of our efforts. What are your plans for dealing with this unjust situation?
Dear President: Thank you for your letter. As you know I have always been an advocate of the unions. If Karl Marx felt they were important to have I will support them. We are working on having a mandatory union dues fee collected from your members and from non members a representation fee for your expenses for negotiating benefits for all teachers. As you know, once a bill is passed it is almost impossible to get it changed and you will have dues or a representation fee collected forever.
Dear Abby: Iam the president of Abortion Forever. We are concerned that women in Virginia do not have freedom to remove the inconvenience of pregnancy from their bodies like they do in other states. What are you planning to do to protect their rights?
Dear President: I have always been an advocate for women’s rights. I plan to sign an executive order allowing women to have an abortion for any reason at any time during pregnancy. The bill will also allow for termination of heartbeat if the abortion is not successful.
Dear Abby: I am the Chairperson of Protect Our Children From Indoctrination. Our concern is that our children be free from the false Doctrine of Christianity that is creeping into our public schools. What do you plan to do to protect our children?
Dear Chairperson: I have been an advocate for keeping religion out of our schools since I read the Communist Manifesto. We will working on laws that will prevent religious indoctrination in any school accredited by the state of Virginia, public or private.
This is an opinion blog for Conservatives and people of Faith. We cannot verify if the above information is true.