Therapy for People Jilted By a Lover
Recently the Virginia Beach, Va. Aquarium did a therapy fund raiser for people who had been jilted by a lover. For $5 the jiltee could have a bug named after the jilter and watch on line as an aquarium employee fed the bug to a turtle. For those who needed more intensive therapy for $20 a rat named after the jilter would be fed to a snake. My issue with the rat to snake therapy is the aquarium would put the rat to sleep before feeding it to the helpful snake. It would seem to me that putting the rat to sleep defeats some of the purpose of the therapy. Would not the jiltee receive more closure therapy benefit in seeing the rat squirm?
Therapy is so expensive today. What a great way to get therapy at bargain basement prices! Fund raisers eventually come to an end. What a great way for a full- time business to be available whenever we need it for therapy. How many people might benefit from this quick, cheap, closure therapy? I once sent some money to an organization which would, for a small fee, name a star after the person of your choice. It gave me an opportunity to prove I had more money than brains. It also gave me the chance to show affection for my wife. This is a good example of someone who started a business to fill a need.
An inexpensive therapy business should not be limited to jilters only. Think of friends and family members who have done things that exasperate you. Mass murderers get the headlines but most murders are done to family members or people the murderers know. An inexpensive therapy business might actually save lives. Not only are homicides messy but courts take a dim view of such actions and give out long jail terms to perpetuators. A cheap therapy business might free many from these two aforementioned inconveniences.
These therapies should not be limiter to jilters or friends or family. What about politicians who have tried to confine us to our homes for years? What about Dr. Fauci? Who wouldn’t want to feed Dr. Fauci to a giant Anaconda at least twice? Feeding people to a giant Anaconda is illegal {see Federal Law number 1.555.231} although a lot of people think it should be legal. But at least feeding them symbolically to snakes is legal and it would give us vicarious pleasure. Why not do the rat thing at every Trump Rally? It could be like a Super Bowl Victory party. Loud cheers would erupt as the lovable snake gulps down rats named joe, Kamala, Nancy, Adam or Hillary.
Disclaimer:
We are not encouraging anyone to feed live people to a giant Anaconda. That would be illegal and when other people break the law will not accept liability as gun manufacturers are prone to do.
We will not be liable for any pain, suffering or emotional distress if someone is picked by others as a symbolic rat.
If Democrats make the claim that this blog is racist, we categorically deny there is any racial undertones, overtones or even tones in the blog.
We will not be liable for emotional harm if the person you symbolize as a rat, symbolizes you in revenge. We take no responsibility for vengeful people.
If you are not experienced in handling snakes and it bites you causing death or injury we cannot be held responsible.
If you use a giant Anaconda and it eats you instead of your adversary we cannot be held responsible for your incompetence.
In states where bugs or rats are legally entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness this therapy should not be done. We will not be responsible for the violation of the civil rights of bugs or animals.
In states where feeding a rat to a snake is considered cruelty to the rat or the snake this therapy should not be done and we take no responsibility for such barbaric behavior.
We take no responsibility for any emotional distress caused to people who think animals should have the right to vote.
We take no responsibility for emotional distress caused to people who have rats as pets and consider them members of the family
This blog is not suggesting that Joe Biden be fed to a giant Anaconda Snake and we will not be responsible if someone does.
This is an opinion blog for conservatives and people of faith.