This week we have an imaginary interview with Dr. Iam A. Fool, president of Woke University. You might not be able to identify which university was used as our example, but it is highly likely a university near you will fit the mold.
Forum: Dr. Fool, your university seemingly came out of nowhere. It was once a small little known school that quickly became a large university known nationwide. To what do you contribute the rapid growth and recognition?
Dr. Fool: Two things. We decided the school should be relevant to modern times and get away from the silly traditions of past Americans. We also decided to revamp the curriculum to eliminate the misinformation that had been taught in the past and help students to prepare for a new world order. Once we did those two things an education at Woke University became a desired goal of many students nationwide.
Forum: What are some of the silly traditions of past Americans you are referring to?
Dr. Fool: The pre-eminent one is belief in God. Millions of dollars are being wasted each year building and maintaining buildings to worship someone who does not exist. That money should go to help the oppressed in our society. Our administration believes these organizations should be outlawed in our country for the good of those who are mis-lead. There no is scientific evidence that God exists. In addition, people who waste time believing in God are usually hostile to the LBGTQUA+ community and hurt their feelings by accusing them of doing something wrong. People’s feelings should never be hurt. We believe that is a violation of their Constitutional Rights. We have a course entitled The Myth of God which every Freshman or I should say Freshperson is required to take to help them break away from this emotionally depressing movement.
Forum: What are some of the curriculum changes that have been made to prepare students for a new world order?
Dr. Fool: As everyone knows, Capitalism is a very oppressive system with the rich taking advantage of primarily people of color. We now require two full semesters of Karl Marx’s Manifesto to be studied by new freshpersons. Marx theories have proven to be true as evidenced by the success of Cuba, North Korea, Venezuela and China, the most successful of all Communist Governments. If the students learn and practice Marxism it will make the world a less oppressive place to live.
The other courses required for freshpersons and sophomores are: White Rage, White Privilege, Critical Race Theory, The Positive Benefits of the Black Lives Matter and Antifa Movements, How to be an Activist, How to Find an Make Friends in the Gay Community, The need for Reparations to People of Color, The 1619 Project and Case Studies of White Men’ Abuse of Women. Some of these courses, such as How to be an Activist give extra credit for student who participate in demonstrations and write an essay on how it helped them change the world. Others such as How to Find and Make Friends in the Gay Community offer workshops and retreats with people in the gay community.
Forum: What happened to courses like Sociology, Psychology, Languages, Math, Science and Economics that were once considered necessary to make a student well rounded?
Dr. Fool: The courses I mentioned were recommended overwhelmingly by our faculty to prepare our students for the world we live in. The courses your mentioned may have been helpful to students in an earlier time but today we have a new set of priorities.
Forum: What are some things accomplished by the university that you are most proud of?
Dr. Fool: One of our greatest accomplishments of the university has been getting rid of the names of any of our buildings that honored anyone who served in the Confederate Military or Government as well any statues or plaques that honored them. They were white supremacists and should never have been honored.
Forum: But were not these people honored for their contribution to helping Woke University become a nationally recognized university?
Dr Fool: These people were racists and should never have been honored. Nothing they accomplished in life could compensate for their serving the South. They should not even be honored by having a tombstone. Their descendants should be ostracized and shamed for being descendants of racists. We have administrators and teachers at Woke University who know how to make a difference. Now people of color can enter buildings and classes and not have their feelings hurt. This is explained in our mission statement. Yes, we want our students to get an education, but that is secondary to learning political correctness.
Forum: What else do you consider a great achievement for the University?
Dr. Fool: We are proud to have a Black Studies Department and degree program here at Woke. Now People of Color can learn about whiteness and how it was used to abuse People of Color. We are excusing students from classes and giving them credits for marching with Black Lives Matter and Antifa to protest injustice.
Forum: But Dr. fool are not these demonstrations riots or insurrections resulting in looting, arson, attacks on policemen or innocent bystanders?
Dr. Fool: These marches are mostly peaceful. Rarely do members of BLM or Antifa get arrested which proves the protests are peaceful. We think White Supremacists are infiltrating these peaceful demonstrations. You do not see any violence on the Main Stream News Media. You only see it on Right Wing Extremists Networks such as Fox News. This leads us to believe they are staged by extreme right wingers to discredit our cause.
Forum: Is it true that you recently named your Black Studies Program after a slave who led a mob of other slaves who murdered between 51 and 65 white men, women and children?
Dr. Fool: This history was written by White Supremacists so we are not sure it happened. We think that Nat was demanding his freedom and it made his masters mad and they hung him and made up the story to hide their sins. Even it the story were true the people were White Supremacists and deserved to die. Even if children were killed, which is unlikely, they would have grown up to be White Supremacists and killing them would have been justified. Our students are now supporting a movement to erect a monument to Nat Turner on the National Mall.
Forum: We understand you have recently changed you entrance requirements and grading system. Can you tell us about this?
Dr. Fool: We are very proud of these progressive innovations. We have found that test results are not a good indicator of future success, therefore we have eliminated SATS. Tests discriminate against People of Color. Students can now opt for an interview for acceptance. They will be awarded points for attitude toward such things as Equality Justice, Racial Justice, White Domination Oppression, Income Redistribution, Political Correctness, White Privilege, Critical Race Theory and Environmental Justice. Our grading system has become the envy of universities and a guide for them. We have found that grades such as F and D are traumatic to students and stigmatize them doing great emotional harm. We no longer give F’s or D’s and our policy is to give students very few C’s. This policy is received with great enthusiasm among our students and our students are ranked among the happiest students in the United States.
Forum: Thank you Dr. Fool for interviewing with us.
Dr. Fool: It is my pleasure to enlighten you and your readers. I am always willing to tell the truth.
Note from the Forum: There are many Dr. Fools in Administration and teaching in our universities, proud, arrogant, close minded, ever learning but never able to think rationally. They are a real hinderance to students getting an education to help them be successful in life. And you pay a lot of money in taxes for this service.
This is an opinion forum for Conservatives and People of Faith..