An Interview with the White House
This week the forum has an exclusive interview with Will I. Lie a spokesman for the White House which we present below.
Forum: Mr. Lie, thank you for interviewing with the Forum. The Republicans are currently having hearings in the House claiming Joe Biden made millions from foreign entities peddling influence.
Mr. Lie: This is Republican misinformation. The reason for these hearings is to deflect attention from Donald Trump by trying to smear Joe Biden, a man of impeccable character. We know Donald Trump is guilty or our courageous and honest prosecutors would not have indicted him. He was able to avoid being found guilty in his Russian Collusion Charges because of the chicanery of his lawyers but this time he will be found guilty of all sixty charges including the most serious one of defying the Democratic party. Donald Trump is not only guilty of the current charges against him, but hundreds of other charges brave prosecutors are planning to bring. No man is above the law and Donald Trump should spend the rest of his life in prison. There is no proof that Joe Biden ever discussed his son Hunter’s business dealings with him. Joe was never in business with Hunter.
Forum: But Mr. Lie, Hunter’s former business partner claims Hunter called Joe and put Joe on the phone on numerous occasions when he was negotiating business deals with foreign entities.
Mr. Lie: Hunter and Joe have a close relationship and Hunter was able to clear his mind and think clearly after talking with his father. His father has always been an inspiration to him. If he had his father say hi to his business associates it was to give him confidence to go forward in making deals that would be fair and equable. There is no proof Joe ever discussed business with Hunter’s business associates. Joe loved to discuss the weather, golfing and relaxing at the beach with even strangers
Forum: It has been claimed that Hunter had no expertise in the Businesses he was involved with in foreign countries, so he was selling influence through his connection to his father.
Mr. Lie: That is more Republican misinformation. I think the people of the United States realize this is a lie. Joe has said more than once that his son Hunter is the smartest person he knows. Hunter has amazing business acumen as evidenced by companies putting him on the board of directors. A brilliant and skilled businessman like Hunter is so versatile he can transfer his skills and knowledge to any type of business and succeed. Hunter is so accomplished he does not need any help, other than inspiration, from his father.
Forum: News reports indicate illegal drugs were found in the White House. This led to speculation that Hunter may have left them there since he has had involvement with illegal drugs in the past.
Mr. Lie: This has all the ear markings of a Donald Trump stunt to frame Hunter Biden. We think it likely that a Donald Trump operative, under his direction, planted the drugs in the White House. Like many people Hunter has experimented with drugs, but may I point out drug possession is a misdemeanor. Hunter admitted a mistake was made and is now clean. The Republicans are trying to make a misdemeanor into a serious crime to sully Hunter’s reputation.
Forum: Hunter Biden was charged with failing to report all his income and pled guilty in a plea bargain. It was claimed that federal prosecutors agreed to plea bargain favorable to Hunter because he is the President’s son.
Mr. Lie: Hunter either forgot to report the tax liability or misunderstood how the tax law applied to him so therefore he really did not really commit a crime. He agreed to correct the error and pay his taxes so I think a plea bargain was appropriate would have been done for anyone in these circumstances.
Forum: Some claim that Joe Biden is mentally impaired and not capable of leading the country. What is your response to that?
Mr. Lie: That is more Republican misinformation. Prominent doctors have examined Mr. Biden and pronounced him mentally fit to lead this country. We learned from the Covid Pandemic, with our experience with Dr. Fauci, that doctors never lie or mislead the public. That is settled science. Joe loves to do challenging word puzzles while relaxing at the beach to keep his mind functioning at peak levels. It has been said that Socrates was the most brilliant man in ancient Greece. I think that history will, because of Joe’s many accomplishes in office, judge him the most brilliant political leader of his generation.
Forum: Some have claimed that Joe Biden spends an inordinate amount of time at the beach when he should be working on the challenges this country is facing.
Mr. Lie: This is more Republican misinformation. Joe spends a lot of time at the beach because being there clears his mind. He is not relaxing. He does his best work sitting on the beach contemplating complex issues facing the nation. He brilliantly came up with the inflation reduction act while sitting on the beach. The whiskey he drank invigorated his mind and he came up with this plan to invigorate the U.S. Economy. Had he not been on the beach that day our economy would have been in shambles today and prices would have tripled.
Forum: Hunter said in his e-mails that he had to give the “big guy” ten percent of his income. This led to speculation that the big guy is Joe Biden. How would you respond to that?
Mr. Lie: That is a lie. Mr. Biden and Mr. Biden would never do anything unethical so Joe Biden could not the “big guy”. Many devout Christians pay a tithe which is ten per cent of their income to their churches and since the Bidens are devout Christians I think Hunter was referring to paying ten per cent to the Lord whom he referred to as the “big guy”.
Forum: Thank you Mr. Lie for interviewing with the Forum.
Mr. Lie: it has been my pleasure to set the record straight.
This is an opinion forum for Conservatives and People of Faith. This was a make believe interview. As far as we know there is no spokesman for the White House by the name of Lie. We do think there are many liars who are spokesmen or women for the White House. l