An Interview with Lucifer, the Devil

Phineas Outlaw, a journalist with Worldly Pleasures Daily, recently had an interview with Lucifer which we reprint with permission of the Daily.

Phineas: Lucifer, as you know there is no scientific evidence that God or Jesus exist. If they do not exist, that means there is no Devil. How do I know if your agents, who scheduled this interview, did not hire an actor to impersonate the Devil to embarrass the Daily?

Lucifer: Oh I am very real. But I am not concerned if people do not believe in me, God or Jesus. There are two great forces in the world, good and evil. God and Jesus claim to be the force of good and I support worldly pleasurers which I consider good. If people do not believe in God and Jesus they will not follow their rules, which they call commandments. If people will not follow their rules they become my disciples.

Phineas: About all we know about you is what is printed in the Bible which is biased in favor of God and Jesus. You have been called the Father of Lies, the Dragon, the Prince of Darkness, Satan, the Devil, THE Serpent, the Evil One, the Deceiver, the Destroyer and even Beelzebub. How should we refer to you?

Lucifer: Lucifer is my given name and I prefer that.

Phineas: Lucifer, you were once an important person in Heaven. What caused the riff between you and God?

Lucifer: I worked hard in Heaven and earned a great deal of fame and adulation. As you can read in Isiah 14:12 I had the impressive title of Son of the Morning. I felt I was not getting the respect I deserved and wanted God to give me more authority and respect. Then he got mad and raised an army against me and my followers and forced us out of Heaven. Revelation 11:7 tells there was a war in Heaven but it does not tell how badly we were outnumbered. I did not expect such a reaction to my request and was not prepared for war. The reason we lost the war was not because my cause was not right but because of the overwhelming number of soldiers God had. I learned a valuable lesson in that war. Since then I have been working tirelessly to gain more followers. When the next war comes I plan to have more soldiers than God.

Phineas: After losing the war in Heaven have you had any triumphs since then?

Lucifer: I have had many. One of my favorites was working with Adolph Hitler to eliminate millions of Jews. These people continued to cling to God in spite of modern day wisdom and enlightenment and I felt it necessary to eliminate them. Also the Holocaust prevented the birth of millions of Jews who would still cling to God if they were allowed to be born. I was a close confidant of Adolph Hitler. If he had listened to me and not invaded Russia until he finished conquering Europe we might have had many more successes together. The rise of communism is another great victory. I worked closely with those who planned the principles of communism and those who overthrew governments and enslaved the people. Communism has kept billions from following God. My kingdom has grown even beyond my wildest expectations.

Phineas: You certainly have had some great victories. What are some things that are happening currently that excite you?

Lucifer: We now have Democrats in control of the Senate, the House and the Presidency in the United States. Nearly half the Democrats in the United States do not believe in God and probably most elected Democrats do not. I think they will soon impose communism on the people and then work to eliminate belief in God. My kingdom continues to grow. People throughout the world are rejecting God. Fewer than one third of the world’s population believe in God and Jesus and that number is shrinking. When the next war with God comes, I will be the one with over whelming numbers.

Phineas: Thank you, Lucifer, for allowing us to interview you.

Lucifer: It has been my pleasure, and worldly pleasures are my work and my glory.