A new movement has been started on college campuses beginning with the Ivy League. At Columbia University Students have begun to self identify as dogs. Of course everyone should recognize immediately who is behind this movement. It is the Communist Controlled Administrators, Communist Professors and Communist Students who control the student organizations. Where did all these lame brained people come from? They were specifically recruited by Columbia. The Communists in administration, teaching and the student body realized they were not getting enough students who would sit, roll over, lay down, poop at the proper time, beg and be easily manipulated. How do you get the kind of students Columbia needs? First students who are hard working and bright are problematic. They might actually think for themselves and be a thorn in the Communist’s side. Therefore, the powers that be at Columbia concluded that they need fewer of that kind of student so they looked for a way to exclude the bright students. They came up with the solution whose time had come. They called it diversity and inclusion. It pleased the powers that be at Columbia and the fools who support them. Instead of grades and test scores taking prominence, things like attitude became more important. And besides as communists are so fond of saying, “some bright students do not test well”. Should I mention that many students who do not test well do not perform well either?
Columbia got students who did not measure up academically which was not a problem since they were being graded on their enthusiasm for Marxist Dogma. They did not even have to go to classes and could spend their time on more important things like mob actions and demonstrating against Jews and Democracies. The scriptures tell us that in the last days there would be people claiming that good is evil and evil good. Thank you Columbia, and the student body, for proving the scriptures.
The faculty and Administration have been busy twisting the minds of the already twisted. They are telling their students that it is better to be a dog than a human and the students are licking that up like it is ice cream. After all there is no racism in the dog kingdom like there is in Human Society. Have you ever seen dogs ostracize other dogs because they are black or brown?
This movement starting at Columbia will soon go nationwide. The Communists at Columbia are now contacting their counterparts at other Ivy League School to start the ball rolling and get the movement organized on other campuses. The Communist reporters in the news media have already been enlisted to promote dog people. The organizers theory is that many people still think that an Ivy League education is a good thing and many useful idiots will support dog people.
A whistle blower has revealed that the Biden Regime has secretly been meeting with Ivy League Communists to determine how they can help. According to the whistle blower the Justice Department has plans to hire 500 new lawyers to work exclusively on investigating discrimination against Dog People. Their starting salary will be $300,000 per year. The Department of Education will develop a new department to insure dog people are not discriminated against. The Department Head will have a salary of $450,000 per year and will preside over a staff of 1,000. The Department of Education is said to be developing requirements for all colleges and universities to have separate bathroom facilities for dog people. Dogs usually have to go to the bathroom in front of humans and it is embarrassing not to have any privacy. There will also be rules requiring dog bathroom attendants. The Department of Labor has proposed a minimum wage for the attendants of $75,000 per year. The Department of Health has proposed having federally funded Psychiatrists at every university in the United States to provide free counseling to Dog People who will suffer extreme stress from discrimination. A starting salary of $260,000 per year has been proposed.
The Democrat Party plans to include Dog People in their “Big Tent”. A Biden Regime spokesperson was contacted for comment from the whistle blower. The spokesperson, Will Tellalie, said he could not comment since this involves national security issues.
This is an opinion blog and a parody for Conservatives and People of Faith.